Men's Mental Health & Addiction Counselling in Adelaide
More about Simon
Like many people, I have had my fair share of experiences throughout my 40+ years around the sun. I come from a client relations, customer service and account management background and so bring a sense of professionalism and people-centric approaches to my counselling, alongside considerable life experiences.
I am a married Father of two children, and am passionate about having the opportunity to be alongside people through their journey of discovery, promoting resilience, empowerment and seeing people flourish in the best version of themselves.
My personal life experiences add richness, empathy and depth to compliment my professional training. I've witnessed first-hand, the intense struggle, internal conflict and impeded hope, that depression brings with it (in positions both as being a partner and a full-time carer).
In my pre-teen years, I was nominated to tell my Grandmother that her cancer had returned for the third time with an inoperable tumour, and then witness her decline into a shell of the incredible woman she was, before her passing.
My mother also fought so hard battling bowel cancer for years. Throughout that time I looked after her, and witnessed such vulnerability and fear, as the roles completely reversed between mother and son, until her passing on my Birthday. That's one way of her making sure I will never forget the date I guess.
I've endured the almost intolerable pain and despair of 10 failed rounds of IVF, not only from my own perspective as a man and husband, but most pertinently, my wife's also. That experience brings with it unmatched feelings of failure, despair and such intrinsic sadness unlike anything I have lived through. But it gave me new perspective from a guys lens.
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Probably the most profound experience I have navigated through, was my own struggles with addiction to alcohol. In fact, it's what ignited my counselling journey, as I know very well how the impacts can ripple through every aspect of your life. I’ve been as close to rock bottom as I would ever dare to get. This experience saw me steadily obliterate my self-worth, motivation, zest, appreciation, and capacity for my family and friends…I’d even say life in general. I had backed myself into an unforgiving corner, fueled with denial, misdirection, hopelessness and inner conflict. Trying to sustain a web of lies, I was balancing on the edge of losing my family, friends, and most importantly, my two children. Addiction (in any form) is a very lonely existence, but it is possible to rise above. It took a while to truly comprehend and understand this.
I will be forever grateful that things clicked for me one day. I discovered a profoundly exhilarating path and method that was a game-changer. It freed me from this destructive spiral I had created for myself.
So, what happened?
Finally, I started to be completely honest with myself. I knew things had to change, but boy, that was raw. Most importantly, my decision to change suddenly became on my terms. It was ME wanting to change – not because someone else thought it would be a good idea. The power of making this self-determination means so much when you are looking to change your relationship with an addiction.
The pain of sustaining this addiction was overriding the perceived remedy and benefits I thought I was receiving. When this realisation occurred, it was accompanied by the realisation that alcohol was no longer doing what it was supposed to do. It wasn’t the remedy. It wasn’t the solution. It was harrowing and destructive, and things had to change.
Did I try and fail?
Oh you bet I did! I lost my licence due to drink driving. You'd think this would be a gravitational moment in my life to want change. And it was....for a while. But I was not ready. I went to AA. I attended psychology appointments. I spent time in relapse prevention groups. All of these are wonderful and helpful services. But why didn’t it work? I was not 100% convinced. I was leaving the door ajar, just in case. I was not ready and didn't know what else to do.
What eventually worked?
I read an amazing book written by someone who was in a similar position. I started reading, and resonated with EVERYTHING she was saying. I couldn’t put the book down. From there, I read 15 other books full of meaning, resonance, relatability and raw honesty – about the WHOLE journey.
What this did, is start the process of determining that I no longer wanted alcohol. It was no longer the case that I couldn’t or shouldn’t consume alcohol. I came to the determination that I no longer wanted it. What did this do? It shifted the lens and perspective on my journey, considerably.
You don’t have to exercise willpower to stop something you don’t want in the first place. You don’t have to fight cravings for something you don’t want in the first place.
But it is a considerable journey to arrive at, and then sustain this mindset.
How are things Now?
I am grounded. I am happy. I am free from the perils and grip of an addiction. I regained my sense of self, my confidence, my value. I reconnected with my children, my wife, my family and friends. I have clarity (not just mental, but an overall clarity). I have learnt so much about myself, and other people. I rekindled with my purpose.
Most amazingly, this also allowed me to be in the privileged position to be able to give back by being a passionate counsellor, drawing from life experiences and my own journey.
But...that's enough about me! Perhaps some of who I am and my experiences resonate with you?
This is where I can help. Help you find your own path. Help you with greater awareness and understanding. Help you with knowing where and how to start! I know so very well, how confronting and often overwhelming even starting with this step can be. If this sounds about where you may be right now, or even if you are not quite sure....well, you've already started and are on your way! Please feel welcome to contact me to discover how we may be able to work together.
If you are unsure about booking, wondering if this might be right for you, or curious about what to expect, please contact me for a free 15 minute chat, to talk through your queries or concerns.
